You don't have to figure this out alone.

Abuse can be emotional, physical, domestic, family or sexual — and it can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, culture or background.

• —Emotional abuse: put-downs, control, isolation from friends or family, threats.
• —Physical abuse: hitting, restraining, or any use of force that causes fear or harm.
• —Domestic and family abuse: a pattern of controlling behaviour within a relationship, household or family.
• —Sexual abuse: any sexual act or contact without full, freely given consent.
• —Abuse is rarely a single incident — it is usually a pattern that builds over time.

Some signs are about how a person is treated. Others are about how they start to seem — withdrawn, anxious, or explaining away things that do not add up.

• —Being monitored, isolated from friends and family, or needing 'permission' to see people
• —Unexplained injuries, or explanations that do not match the injury
• —Sudden changes in confidence, mood or how someone talks about themselves
• —Being afraid of a partner, family member or someone they live with
• —Financial control — no access to money, bank accounts or their own income

Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust and communication — and they are worth naming clearly, not just describing what they are not.

• —Both people can say no, and that no is respected without punishment
• —Disagreements happen without fear, threats or control
• —Friendships, family and interests outside the relationship are supported, not restricted
• —Apologies are followed by changed behaviour, not just words
• —Consent is asked for, freely given, and can be withdrawn at any time

You do not need the right words. You need to listen, believe them, and let them lead on what happens next.

• —Listen without judgement, and believe what they tell you
• —Let them make their own decisions — control is what they are likely already experiencing
• —Avoid ultimatums like 'leave or I can't help you'; they rarely work and can isolate someone further
• —Offer practical help: information, a safe place to talk, or to sit with them while they call a support line
• —Look after yourself too — supporting someone else is real work, and you are allowed support as well

A safety plan is a practical, personal plan for staying safer — whether someone is preparing to leave a situation, or staying in it for now.

• —Identify a trusted person you can contact quickly, and agree on a signal if you need help
• —Keep important documents, some money and a bag ready if you may need to leave quickly
• —Know the safest exits from your home, workplace or usual places
• —Save emergency numbers under different names if a phone is monitored
• —A specialist family violence service can help build a full safety plan with you — see the contacts below